It feels like there’s been a death in my family. There hasn’t been an actual death, for that I am grateful. Today I was laid off from my job. Our family suffered through unemployment last February 2011 when K lost his job. Fortunately, his unemployment was short lived but it was a rough 4 months of uncertainty and scariness. Still struggling to get back on our feet and readjusted and today I lost my job.
Last year…when we’d say K lost his job he would comment that he didn’t lose it – he knew exactly where it was and that someone had taken it from him. I understand the sentiment behind that today! It feels strange saying, “I lost my job!” like I lost a pair of sunglasses or something.
I know we’re just now getting to know each other and you aren’t terribly familiar with my past but I learned a long time ago that God is in control. It may sound cliche to say but I believe that everything happens for a reason and when God closes a door – He opens a window. I know this because I’ve lived it. I’ve had many struggles and uncertainties but I’ve always trusted that I would make it to the other side in a better position than what I started in!
The hardest part about losing my job today is that I’m really going to miss the people I have worked with for the past 9.6 years. We were like family. I looked forward to seeing them every day and sharing in their lives. I know we can stay connected via Facebook and things like that but it’s not the same as day-in and day-out interactions. So many of them were there when I started my running adventures and they were so supportive and encouraging. It’s like a piece of my past is dying and I’m so very sad about that.
When K got home from work today, I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. So many of my friends from work were reaching out to me and saying such nice things and it just made me that much sadder. It’s so nice to feel so loved. It felt so strange tightening the shoelaces on my running shoes while I was sobbing.
Today I learned that I cannot cry while I run. I can walk and cry – no problem there. As soon as I’d break in to a run, the tears would stop. I was thankful for the temporary pause in tears…but then started to worry that if I continue to have these crying outbreaks, I’m gonna be logging a lot more miles!
You know you’re a runner when you are laid off and still do your 1 mile run for the #RWStreakExtreme!
Ugh…this is a depressing post but it’s helped me to write it out. Thanks for suffering through this…if you’ve made it this far, that is!
I’m looking forward to tomorrow, a new day!
This too shall pass!